Letter to Jen July 14, 2008

Grandma Liz sent me a bunch of envelopes with labels and stamps on them already. Right on, save a few bucks on postage.

(This is Zach's response to my question about his big post-mission travel plans and the info that our cousin Logan and his wife Kristen are going to Oregon to visit her family soon.)
Part of my big travel plans indeed do include Utah. I'm making a list of people to spend a few days with. Lol. It includes Oregon, California, and Utah. So I'll pretty much be America's guest for a while. If Logan and Kristen stopped in Bend that would make my day. Knowing my luck it'll be the same week that my trainer Elder Coffey stops back through. He's coming to visit me on his way up to Washington (to get the girl of his dreams). Man, I almost wrote "WARshington". Thats how they say it here.

They say such goofy crap in Oregon. We have a joke, we say "I ain't been in my rig in a couple-three weeks cuz I ain't warshed it." Which is Oregonian for, "I haven't driven my truck in several weeks because I havent washed it." We catch ourselves saying "Couple-three" sometimes. Its really stupid. Freakin Oregonian accents. Dont tell Kristen lol.

I've realized why missionaries are WEIRD when they go home. We're just a clever mix of all the other missionaries around us. We pick up weird crap from each other. Like one of the zone leaders and I always sit all proper and cross legged and talk like Sean Connery and say stuff like "Well thats just scrumptious" or "Ah, delicious, let me just write that down in my register" and "Oh, rather... Do you mind if I coin that as my own?" He and I have WAY too much fun together. He's NUTS.

Anywho, you got a longer email than mom did. Oops. lol. I'm just rambling in this one though. You can share with her.

Oh man. One last story, so we did an activity for district meeting on obedience. Our district leader asked one of our zone leaders Elder Dickison "Would you do anything to share the gospel?" and he said yes. So Elder Stout (Dist Leader) told him that in order to share the gospel in this activity he had to stand up in front of us and sing "I'm a little tea pot" with the actions. He had stuff for all of us. And for me, he asked "Would you do anything to share the gospel?" I said yes. He said "Then sign this contract." and Elder Baucom had written up a contract saying, in short "I Elder Roberts hereby admit that Hannah Montana is stupid and ugly and she's the crappiest thing that Disney has ever puked out into the world, which is saying a lot because they gave Britney her start. Blah blah blah" lol. I signed it "Orville Redenbacker" lol. It was aweseome.

Anywho, life is good. I'm still working hard and trying my best to be the best Elder Roberts I can be. Thanks for your love and support Jen. Youre a rockstar of a big sister! LOVE YOU!!!